Review: Bitcoin Billionaire

Listen, this game is not fun, at all. This game is just really, really good at being addicting. Think of it as an endorphin rush on an exponential curve.

Basically this is Cookie Clicker but under the premise that you’re farming for bitcoins. You remember bitcoins right? Those things everyone gave a shit about for a good 5 seconds, said they were the newest form of currency people were going to use, and now everyone has seemed to have forgotten about them like a piece of meat in the fridge. Yeah, those things. If you’re not familiar with Cookie Clicker or clicker games in general you simply sit there and tap repeatedly to collect a resource. That’s all there is to it. No, I’m not lying. At least this game isn’t just the basic premise though, so let’s explore that.

There is your standard way of farming coins which is just tapping, but the second method is investments. Investments are pretty much they sound like. They work by putting bitcoins into a good, and after you’ve done that you will receive an increase in your bitrate. Your bitrate being the amount of coins you receive in one second. So let’s say you invest in a comic book (an actual in game investment) you will then receive say, 18 bitcoins a second without doing anything. The game however won’t let you just simply buy an investment and wait, as you’ll need to periodically check in with the app or perform an action to keep it from going into sleep mode. To lengthen this offline time you’ll need to by special offline offers in each investment with the game’s special currency. You can also increase your bit miner software. Increasing this will increase the amount of bitcoins you receive per tap. All this gives you an instant gratification feeling that is supposed keep you tapping.

There are types of power ups in the game ranging from temporary investment multiplies, temporary tap quantity multipliers, and coin blasts, which are just a large amount of coins that are a multiple of your bitrate. These power ups can be acquired through in game emails, amazon drones, and a randomly appearing three card selection. Emails usually require you do a task, while drones and cards just give them to you. These powers ups become more and more frequent as you go through the game, making your progress accelerate faster and faster, adding to the addictive factor.

The card selection is a bit tricky as it’s the only thing that will give you negative effects, which will appear more and more as you progress. This is actually a good idea in the sense that it will keep you playing. The game understands that if you’re only given positives you’ll just grow bored of it, so it has to throw some conflict at you. Usually though, you can get out of these bad cards by watching an ad.

This leads me to my next point, the ads are incessant. The tasks I mentioned earlier for the emails, are usually 30 second banner ads or video ads. At first they weren’t a real problem, but as things went on and the opportunity for them increased with the emails, and cards etc. So did the ads. Let’s face it given the option to avoid a negative effect, or boost a power up, you’re going to take it. You can make the argument that the player isn’t compelled to sit through them, but that’s like criticizing a child for choosing cake over a properly nutritious meal. A thorn in my side came when I found out that you eventually run out of the option to watch an ad for an unspecified amount of time, so you’re eventually forced to take the negative consequences anyway. Yet, this all still makes the game incredibly addicting.

If you’ve started to notice a stark absence of opinion in this review, it’s because there isn’t much to say about the game. It’s just a game that’s designed really well to be really addictive. It’s not a good game, there’s nothing I can point out that constitutes it as bad in my opinion. Hell it’s not even fun. It’s an endorphin cash in is really what it is. If I must say anything I guess the prices are fair, and the rate at which they increase is fair. That is really all I have to say. Don’t pick up this game, at all.

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