Internet sayings translated

“Can we please stop talking about this?”
Translation: “I don’t care about this thing that all of you care about, so please tailor your interests and world around only what I believe to be true and care about.”
Translation two: “I don’t believe in this thing that everyone is talking about, so I’m gonna say something that will make me seem like the smart adult talking down to a bunch of kids.”

“You need to be more objective.”
Translation: “I disagree with your opinion, but I don’t actually have a sound argument; so I’m going to say something that sounds like an intellectual critique of your opinion.”
Translation two: “I don’t like this thing that you said and if I say this it’ll make the big bad boogeyman of reality go away la, la, la, la!”
A common cry from people that get angry over an opinion they disagree with, and also have no idea what the words opinion and objective mean.

“If you don’t like (this thing) don’t (insert action) it.”
Translation: “I feel insulted by this opinion/critique of this thing I like, even though it was about the thing and not about the fans, and made no mention of me personally.”

Translation: “person with a left leaning opinion I disagree with.” This “insult” has become so overused, and used so indiscriminately, that it has essentially lost all meaning.

“I’m just going to leave this here:”
Translation: “I’m too lazy to learn this argument that I agree with, or express this idea, so I’m going to let this person/thing do it for me.”

“You’re allowed to be wrong/stupid.”
Translation: “I’m completely, totally, 100 percent correct in what I think so I’m going to say this to make you look like the stupid one and end this debate.” This is quite possibly the most pretentious a phrase you can only really say to people from the comfort of the anonymity on the internet, because saying this in real life would most likely result in you getting popped right in the lip.

Translation: “I’m going to say the most offensive thing I can think of relating to this topic, but as long as I follow it up with this I’m totally exempt from any backlash or consequences.”
Translation two: “I’m going to say this at the end of a sentence to mean the most offensive thing.”

“This person I know (insert thing that this one particular person said/ did/ thinks that doesn’t agree with the person they’re arguing against).”
Translation: “your entire argument is invalid, because this one individual that happens to belong to the group you’re mentioning does this one thing that’s contradictory to the desire of a large group of people.”

“Just sayin’”
Translation: “I’ve run out arguments so I’m going to say this at the end of something that I think is totally inarguable.”


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